Men everywhere live in fear that one day their lovers would kick them to the curb and run off with their cucumber-shaped plastic “back massagers.“
But according FUNORACLE, vibrators will never be able to replace a man. Here’s why.
Orgasms aren’t everything
Orgasms are great, but they can’t catch your eye across a room or make you feel safe in their arms (as of time of writing).
The D looks good
So apparently females actually like the way a man’s junk looks. No bright purple orgasm stick can ever match the aesthetic beauty of a real human magic wand.
Hand shandy
Put the shoe on the other foot. Do you ever fear that you will lose interest in women because your hand or God knows what other contraption you use to pleasure yourself is starting to develop some really nice hips and breasts?
Didn’t think so.
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